Bono sang a song
Bono sang a song that made me cry

Bono sang a song about his father
Bono sang a song to his father about his father
after his father died

Bono sang to his father:
“You’re the reason why
the opera lives in me.”

well this morning i woke up
and i realized

my mother is the reason why
the poetry lives in me

my mother came to me in a dream
and how she was happy
and how she laughed
and how i was happy
and how i laughed
until i woke up and realized
she was gone

in my dream
my mother was surrounded by children
and she spoke words out loud to them
words that they had cut out together
words that they needed to share together
and words that my mother insisted to me
needed to be shared with the world

when i woke up
i remembered a story my mother had told me years ago
i remembered that moment of her telling
as if she only left the room

she told me how she had shared
a poem with my oldest niece
and as my mother told me this poem
she remembered word for word
and recited to the end
and what was so remarkable about this poem
and her sharing of it
was this was a poem
she learned in 1st grade
and in her sixth decade
she still remembered every single word
and recited it to my niece
who had clapped her little hands together
because she loved this little poem
this little poem that i wished so i remembered

and how my mother laughed
and how my mother was happy
when she told me the story of this 1st grade poem
she had remembered and shared
with her little granddaughter
her very first granddaughter
and her very first recited poem

i remember even now
how the telling of this story broke my heart

What is the significance of one small poem
in 1st grade?

well my mother had to drop out of school
after 1st grade
because her family was too poor
to let her continue in school
my mother was ashamed
of the only school photo she had
because she was too poor to afford
the uniform the other children wore
in their class picture with pride
how my mother coveted that simple school uniform
how my mother loved being in school
and one day she was wrenched away
from that oasis of that school
and sent back to the farm to help her family out

one little girl who discovered a love for reading
one little girl who discovered a love for poetry
one little girl who discovered a love for reading poetry out loud

what poet would my mother had made
if she had that chance to continue reading and writing

my heart breaks at that thought
of the poet in my mother denied

before my mother died

the poetry in me had been silenced
the poetry in me was just gone
i had not been able to write for ages and ages
and i ached from the missing words

when my mother died

the frozen dam of my words broke
as the ocean of tears crested higher and higher
until it overflowed my heart

and with that ocean of tears flowed
so many words of pain
and with that ocean of tears flowed
oh so many words of love
oh the love oh the love oh the love
that was released from my frozen heart
the love for and from my mother
that i had been unable to express
finally was free free free at last
as i cried the tears of grief that broke my heart anew
until i felt like i had died from my grief and pain

since the day my mother died

my poetry flows in a never-ebbing sea of emotion
my poetry flows in a never-ebbing sea of love

Mammina,
you’re the reason why the poetry lives in me
Mammina,
thank you for giving me the gift of your poetry.

***Poetica 03/05/2008